You Can’t Light the Fire and Ask It Why It’s Burning

The other day, my daughter said something that stopped me in my tracks. She’s barely a teenager, but her words carried more wisdom than some adults I know. She looked at me and said:

“You can’t light the fire and ask it why it’s burning.”

It was her response after I finally stood my ground with someone who had been treating me poorly for a long time. The little digs, the cold tone, the disrespect — I let it slide over and over. I tried to give grace, hoping things would get better.

But one day, enough was enough. I spoke up. I made it clear that I would no longer accept being treated that way.

And just like that, the other person acted shocked. They looked at me as if they had no idea why I was upset. Like they were the innocent one in the story.

That’s when my daughter gave me that line. And she was right. You can’t light the fire — provoke, mistreat, disrespect — and then act confused when it finally burns back.

Standing Your Ground is Not Wrong

This isn’t about retaliation. It’s about boundaries. When you’ve been pushed, ignored, or hurt repeatedly, your response is not the problem — the treatment that led to it is.

Fires don’t start on their own. They have a cause. And when someone pretends they don’t know why the flames are there, it’s usually because they don’t want to acknowledge their role in striking the match.

God’s Word Supports Boundaries

Scripture reminds us in Galatians 6:7:

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”

That verse isn’t about revenge — it’s about truth. You will see the harvest of what’s been planted. If someone sows kindness, they’ll reap peace. If they sow disrespect, they’ll eventually face the reality of it.

Jesus Himself set boundaries. He walked away from those who sought to harm Him before His appointed time. He knew when to speak, when to be silent, and when to stand firm.

Let the Fire Teach, Not Destroy

When you finally speak up, you’re not trying to burn bridges — you’re protecting the structure of your own peace. And if someone is shocked by that, it may be because they’ve grown too comfortable with the wrong they were doing.

So, to the one who’s confused when you finally find your voice — the fire is not random. It is the natural result of what was lit long ago.

Because you can’t light the fire and ask it why it’s burning.

Fire and truth,

Catrina

Special thanks to my daughter, Saraya, whose insight and photography made this post possible. Mommy loves you BIG!