Awareness Is Only Half the Work

There comes a point when understanding yourself stops being a tool for growth and starts being used as a shield. It’s easy to say, “I’m struggling” or “I’m learning about myself” and expect that to excuse behavior that hurts others. Awareness is not a license to harm.

I know what it’s like to wrestle with thoughts and emotions that feel bigger than you. I know the patience it takes to work through your own mind without letting it spill over and hurt the people around you. That struggle doesn’t give anyone permission to frighten, control, or diminish others. Choosing compassion, care, and respect even in the hardest moments is what real growth looks like.

Awareness is powerful when it comes with responsibility. It’s meaningful when it leads to honesty, accountability, and respect. But when awareness is used as an excuse to justify harm, it becomes a weapon. That is a choice, and it is a choice that impacts everyone else, not just the person carrying the struggle.

I’ve seen it too often. People push others away with cruelty, manipulation, or harsh words, and then wonder why they end up alone. They blame the people who left, forgetting that their own actions created the distance. Fear, control, and harm drive people away, and no one can be expected to stay when they feel unsafe or devalued. Awareness without accountability cannot fix that. It cannot undo the walls built by abuse, and it does not erase the consequences of harmful choices.

It’s tempting to excuse behavior because someone is figuring things out. But figuring things out doesn’t erase the damage done. Real understanding shows up as steadiness, consistency, and care for others. It does not demand forgiveness for chaos.

This is not about shaming anyone. It is about seeing patterns, recognizing the difference between struggle and excuse, and refusing to hand over your peace to someone else’s choices. Growth is not measured by the label you carry. It is measured by the way you treat the people around you, the way you own your actions, and the way you choose accountability over justification.

With understanding and courage,

Just Catrina