Hurt People Hurt People… But Healed People Heal People
We’ve all heard the saying: “Hurt people hurt people.” And it’s true—people who carry deep pain often project that pain onto others. They lash out, shift blame, dismiss your feelings, or twist your words. Maybe you’ve felt this firsthand. Maybe you’ve poured your heart into someone, only to be met with criticism, anger, or silence. It’s draining, isn’t it?
Being mistreated—especially by someone you love—can leave you feeling invisible and questioning yourself. You start wondering, “What’s wrong with me? Why do they treat me this way?” But here’s the truth: It’s not you. It’s them. Their inability to love you well does not diminish your worth.
And if we’re being honest, sometimes we need to ask ourselves a hard question too: What if I’m the one who’s hurting others? None of us are perfect. We all have wounds that, if left unhealed, spill out on the people around us. It takes courage to stop and look in the mirror.
Here’s what I want you to remember today:
1. Being mistreated doesn’t make you unworthy.
When someone constantly shifts blame, makes you feel guilty for having emotions, or refuses to acknowledge your feelings, that’s called gaslighting. It’s emotional manipulation. You are not “too sensitive,” and you are not “starting arguments” by simply asking for respect.
God’s Word says:
“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?” – Psalm 118:6
Even when people mistreat you, your worth is anchored in God, not in their opinion. He calls you His beloved (Isaiah 43:4) and reminds you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
2. Some people will never apologize, and that’s not your fault.
Waiting for someone to admit they were wrong can keep you stuck in pain. Sometimes closure doesn’t come from them—it comes from you deciding, “My peace is more important than their validation.”
The Bible warns us about those who refuse to change:
“A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.” – Proverbs 15:5
“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.” – Ephesians 5:11
You don’t owe endless explanations to someone who isn’t listening. God gives you permission to step back and let Him handle it:
“The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.” – Exodus 14:14
3. Healing starts with honest self-reflection.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “What if I’m the one being difficult?”—take a breath. The fact that you’re asking means you’re already open to change. Healing requires humility and honesty.
Scripture reminds us:
“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.” – Lamentations 3:40
“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts.” – Psalm 139:23
God doesn’t call us to shame ourselves but to allow His Spirit to reveal areas where we need His healing touch. That humility opens the door to growth.
4. Boundaries are not cruelty; they are protection.
You’re not “mean” or “selfish” for protecting your mental and emotional health. Stepping back from someone who constantly mistreats you is not unloving; it’s wise.
Even Jesus set boundaries. He often withdrew from crowds (Luke 5:16) and didn’t entrust Himself to everyone because He knew their hearts (John 2:24). God tells us:
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” – Proverbs 4:23
Your heart matters to Him. Setting boundaries is part of guarding that heart.
5. Hurt people hurt people… but healed people heal people.
Cycles of pain can be broken. When you choose healing—through prayer, counseling, forgiveness, and healthy relationships—you don’t just heal yourself. You heal your family, your friendships, your future.
The Bible reminds us of the power of transformation:
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…” – Romans 12:2
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3
Healing is not only possible; it’s God’s will for your life. You are not meant to live in cycles of abuse, manipulation, or emotional pain.
Whether you see yourself as the one being mistreated, or the one struggling with toxic behaviors, know this: God’s grace covers both. He sees your pain, your effort, and your heart. You are not beyond hope, and neither are they. Healing is possible—but it starts with honesty, boundaries, and choosing peace over chaos.
If nobody else tells you this today, hear it from me:
You are loved. You are worthy. You are enough.
Reflection Questions:
Who in your life is draining your peace, and what boundary might help?
Are there areas where you’ve hurt others out of your own pain?
What would healing look like for you today—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally?
Which verse above speaks most to your current situation?
How can you invite God into your healing process today?
With healing and hope,
Just Catrina
