Raising Resilient Teens (While Still Becoming One Myself)

Let me be honest—raising teens is not for the faint of heart.

Sometimes I look at my kids and think, “How are you this strong already?” Other times I think, “Whew… we’re all just out here surviving.” I didn’t grow up in the world they’re growing up in. Social media wasn’t a thing. Phones didn’t have cameras. The pressure to perform, present, and be “perfect” wasn’t right there in your hand 24/7.

But I do remember what it felt like to be unsure, overwhelmed, and honestly… to want to give up sometimes. I think that’s where resilience comes in—not just for them, but for us too.

It’s wild how parenting makes you reflect on your own growth. I didn’t always have the words for what I was learning back then, but now I know: I was building resilience. I was learning to push through even when it was hard, to try again even when I failed, and to believe in myself—eventually.

I still remember sitting on my bed after failing a test in middle school, convinced I was dumb and that I’d never figure it out. I cried quietly, hoping nobody would notice. My mama didn’t come in with a lecture—she just looked at me and said, “You’ll try again. You always do.” And for some reason, that moment stuck. That became resilience.

That’s what I hope I’m teaching my teens. Not how to be perfect—but how to bounce back. How to fall apart and pull themselves back together. How to take a break, and then get back up.

Some days, I feel like I’m still learning right alongside them.

We talk about growth mindset in our house, and I try to lead by example. We talk about emotions, too—even the hard ones. Especially the hard ones. And when it comes to the online world, we keep it real. Social media can inspire or destroy, connect or compare—it just depends on how you use it. But we don’t pretend like it’s not there. We talk through it, together.

And if I’m being real… some nights I lie awake wondering if I said the right thing, if they’re truly listening, if I’m doing enough. The truth is, I don’t have it all figured out either. I’m still learning what resilience looks like as a mother, just like they’re learning what it looks like as teens.

This isn’t a guide. This isn’t a “how to.” This is me saying: we’re in this together. Parents, teens, all of us. Trying. Failing. Learning. Growing.

Resilience isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about showing up anyway.

And if one day they look back and say, “My mom didn’t have all the answers, but she showed up, and she never gave up on me”—that’s enough for me. If they grow up knowing they can bend without breaking… I’ll feel like I did something right.

With love and the grace to grow,

Just Catrina