Have you ever noticed how disappointment gets heavier the more you carry it?

I'm asking because I'm asking myself too.

As I write this, these words aren't just for you. They're for me. Maybe even more than they're for you. I don't have life figured out. I don't have relationships figured out. I'm still learning. I'm still growing. Sometimes I need to hear my own words before anyone else ever reads them.

Lately I've been carrying a lot of disappointment.

Not because life has been hard. Life has always been hard.

It's the disappointment that comes from believing people. From believing the promises. From believing that this time would be different.

Do you ever feel like people keep breaking your heart, that promises keep shattering, and that the weight of disappointment is all on your shoulders? I know I do, and I’m reminding myself as much as I’m sharing this with you.

I don’t even know where to start tonight. But I’m exhausted. Not just physically, but deep in my chest, in the part of me that feels everything too hard, I am drained from believing people when they promise things will be different. I keep giving chance after chance to the same people who prove over and over they will never change. This weight presses on me every day. It’s heavy. It’s suffocating. It makes it hard